tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28874569593655156552024-02-21T04:25:44.677-05:00Behind The Scenes of an Unusual MindTo do what I do you must be filled with part drive, part talent, and part delusion.Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-49156625357923600652017-02-04T18:38:00.001-05:002017-02-04T18:38:31.213-05:00Where should I send your FREE book?<script data-dojo-config="usePlainJson: true, isDebug: false" src="//s3.amazonaws.com/downloads.mailchimp.com/js/signup-forms/popup/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">require(["mojo/signup-forms/Loader"], function(L) { L.start({"baseUrl":"mc.us15.list-manage.com","uuid":"745f0aab2a52bb025bd1fe58b","lid":"20c9915cd2"}) })</script><br />
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If the window seems to be unavailable <a href="http://eepurl.com/cAzsiP">CLICK HERE</a>Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-360666551309891092017-01-10T10:58:00.000-05:002017-01-10T11:02:52.974-05:00Cinderella isn't Dressed in Yellow, She's Dressed in Black and She's Depressed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;">Cinderella isn't dressed in yellow. She's dressed in black. And she's depressed, in pain, ill and exhausted but still getting the damn job done. She's on mood stabilizers that don't help nearly as much now that she quit smoking cigarettes. She doesn't live with step relatives but blood and her dad isn't dead but he's not there. Her time doesn't belong to her and if she attempts to steal any of it she is punished for being selfish. When she asks for help there's always a price to be paid. Prince Charming brings her </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"><strike>home</strike></span><span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"> back to the house at midnight when she can get a sitter. She sleeps a lot or not at all. She forgets to eat. She's dying and she doesn't even care anymore. All they think is, how selfish what about me? </span></span><br />
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<br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-82850978908669543982017-01-05T14:40:00.000-05:002017-01-05T14:40:56.489-05:00This is what depression looks like<div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: 'San Francisco', -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, '.SFNSText-Regular', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
This is what depression<i> looks </i>like:<br />
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This is what depression <i>feels</i> like (to me anyway.) </div>
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It's more than the really bad days of not being able to get out of bed. The idea of getting out of bed is exhausting. Not showering for days on end and not giving a rat's ass about it. Not eating for days or perhaps the opposite and shoveling food mindlessly and probably guilt tripping yourself for it every step of the way. It's the days where you feel like that but you do get out of bed, too. </div>
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If you have kids, you still have to get them ready for school and take them to their appointments. Sure, maybe your in sweats instead of actual clothes but who cares. You clearly don't.
If you work, you work. You don't socialize, you don't count the minutes. You just work and you're not entirely sure if you're grateful it's over because you hate working but now what the fuck are you going do with your time?
Every activity takes effort. Every activity. The world looks as if it is tinted in a lower temperature color. Food doesn't taste as good. You drink, whether it's to be numb or shut the noise in your head or just to feel, settled. Or perhaps some other alternative to cope. </div>
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Your body and you argue. You're sore for no reason or just tired all of the time. Or both.</div>
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At first you say how you feel. Then you feel like a burden. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren't. You take care of everyone except yourself because all you are trying to do at this point is survive. This is usually the point when people bring up the things you do (or don't do) because you're depressed, you're aware of them. When people bring them up a feeling erupts, across between; feeling guilty and angry. Guilty for your behavior or lack there of and that they noticed and want you to know they noticed. Anger because you now feel as if your feelings are no longer valid and only their feelings are and why not just do it instead of making me feel bad about it because obviously on this day I am struggling?</div>
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People who love you try to understand and maybe they really do. But let's be honest it's annoying when a family member isn't contributing or is grumpy, sad or angry all of the time.</div>
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So you stop saying how you feel. It's too hard to continuously repeat yourself and it's not going away, it just keeps coming back. So you smile. You laugh. You try to, fake it till you make it. </div>
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Then people like us see these smiling photos stream across social media. Smiling, happy. All the while suffering. Enduring. Fighting. They don't know they aren't alone. </div>
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So, apparently. This is what depression looks like. We put makeup on so we can feel normal, look normal and maybe to fake it. Maybe it's so the people in our lives will stop asking if we are okay because no, we are not okay. Maybe we don't wan't the shame and guilt of feeling how we feel. Maybe we are just too damn depressed to have another conversation about it. Today I am not okay and <i>that is okay. </i>Just maybe, tomorrow I will be and that smile might be real. If it's not? I suppose you might not really be able to tell because we live in a world where those who carry the burden of a mental illness feel like a burden. It's not just the words people say it's their actions time and time again. The longer someones struggle is with their disorder, the longer they suffer. The less patient I find people to be. It's a sad world I find us to be in. Where those who always have the kindest of hearts are often the most broken. <br />
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Much love to you all, be kind to one another. Keep fighting through the darkness and know you are worth fighting for, your life is worth fighting for. The good days are worth it. Don't give up.<br />
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XO<br />
-Andrea</div>
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Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-88036417212860981212017-01-05T14:23:00.001-05:002017-01-05T14:24:16.753-05:00Depression memes. I'll just leave these right here...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-42506758571755324752016-03-11T17:30:00.000-05:002016-06-19T16:13:55.174-04:00From my personal journal during a bipolar episodeI'm sharing this again because for me, it's important to share my struggles. In hopes that other's will see there is still reason for hope. I still have bad days. Hard days. Now, my good days are filled with so much love and joy and kindness, it truly makes these bad days easier to survive. I'm still that girl and I always will be. That's the nature of my disorder, but I am so much more than that and now I can see that.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Here is an entry from my private journal. Honestly it's on the lighter side, not sure what that says about my inner struggles.<br />
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<br />
October 2013:<br />
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I feel as if I'm floating through a sea of shadows. My mind is as tired as my body. I try to find the lighter side of things but the irritation of doing so is nauseating. I dream sometimes of a little house with an ocean view on a private beach where my mind can finally relax and I can enjoy my time here in this world. I dream of a body I feel comfortable in with no self loathing. Sadly, all of these things aren't real and they leave me longing until I break down from the loss of something I never even had. As I cycle through waves of yet another bipolar episode I reach acceptance if only for a short period of time. Acceptance for who I am, baggage and all. For who I'm not and never will be. Allowing myself to dream even if it will never come to pass. I float between angry, depressed and a calmness I refer as the calm before the next storm. I wonder if I have the right to want more for myself. I try to be thankful for those moments of eerie calmness and quiet contemplation. It's always so difficult to do so as I know if I wait a few hours, a day, days even I'll be back to singing the blues and crying myself to sleep. My wonderland is a wasteland for broken souls. Once again the calmness before the storm settles on my skin like an itch I just can't scratch. I will always continue to fight this nearing episode with what little strength I have. The air is crisp and inviting me to soak up the sun. As if the darkness wasn't calling out to me. It's moments like this I crave to be alone, yet a piece of me reaches out to those I love for comfort, for acceptance. The things I love to do hold less meaning in times like this. A hollowness erupts inside of me, taunting my rage and sadness. There's no real rhyme or reason to feel this way. I know my life is far from horrible. Like a warm blanket the darkness comforts me as it usually does, inviting me to let go and cry about everything and nothing at all. The sad truth for me is, this battle is everlasting. Light may win today but as a new day dawns the fight starts over. I sit in shambles of a former version of myself. Oddly with hope that it will all be over soon and I will yet again bask in the light and enjoy a fragment of this life. How have I become such a jaded and cynical creature? I sigh deeply and prepare for another drop into sadness and utter grief. As if each time a piece of me dies I must mourn the loss. With shock plastered across me I can admit I am far better now with these modern poisons than many moons ago when I laid adrift in my depressing solitude. I accept this fate as much as I fight it. Always hiding this enormous side of myself from everyone. Knowing they couldn't take it, knowing I couldn't take that look upon their face or their response as heartfelt as they meant it to be. It feels as if I am living two lives all of the time. Except once in a while, like a full moon, where both sides of me collide and the true version of what I've become comes into full view. I don't always hate her, the girl looking back at me. Though her voice is like poison in my mind. I would never wish this inner struggle on a single soul, it is far to cruel. Yet the calmness washes over me carrying a wicked grin. Even it sees what comes next. It feels pleasure with a nearing episode and yet it feels sorry for me too. I stare into the dark night's sky wishing this episode would pass me by for once. So hopeful in my suffering. Now that is blind faith. Ridiculous as any other. I am but a shadow dancing through my life. And to be whole is but a dream.<br />
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<br />
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<br />
Andrea<br />
XOAndrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-74454601354418634732016-02-16T15:41:00.001-05:002016-02-16T15:41:54.433-05:00Win a copy of my book to celebrate the 4 year anniversary of my first novel, Finding Alice!Win a copy of my book to celebrate the 4 year anniversary of my first novel, Finding Alice!<br />
<br />
I can't believe it has been 4 years since I first published Finding Alice! In a few short months the original first edition of Finding Alice will be pulled from the shelves and replaced with the newly edited version. For now, let's just remember how far Alice has come. Honestly, how far I have come for that matter. Here's a little giveaway in honor of Alice. Sometimes, I think I knew her better than I ever knew myself.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a class="rcptr" data-raflid="ef16fd6a3" data-template="" data-theme="classic" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/ef16fd6a3/" id="rcwidget_kqkuzeqx" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a><br />
<script src="https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js"></script><br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-67619763265519933702015-11-24T00:53:00.000-05:002015-11-24T00:53:32.560-05:00Surviving with a Bipolar disorder diagnosis<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Surviving with a Bipolar disorder diagnosis <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I am not my illness. No matter how many disorders
they slap on my chart, they do not define me. They do not own me. I can only
take care of myself the best I can and hope for a little compassion on days
it's hard to get out of bed. Having been diagnosed with Bipolar Type I disorder;
rapid cycling, was horrifying initially, but also a huge relief. All of the
hardships I had endured over the years at times where there was little wrong in
my life finally had a reason, an answer to the question, what is wrong with me?
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Simply, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain
that greatly affects mood and behavior. With extreme highs (mania) and extreme
lows (depression.) It took three different doctors over the span of seventeen
years to diagnose me correctly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Depression
with or without the bipolar component is no laughing matter. It drags you down
by your ankles and holds you under water. You may feel as if you’re drowning
but it won't seem to end and you want it to desperately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">I will tell you from experience, "Why can't
you just be happy?" Is the cruelest sentence one human being can say to someone
who suffers from depression. We do suffer. To me, it has its own identity
living inside of me. I call it, the Darkness. Similar to Dexter's Dark Passenger,
I suppose. (Except for the entire murder part of course.) I don't know if
labeling it is healthy for everyone or not but it gave me some power over it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Every human being is unique therefor no treatment
is one size fits all. Don’t give up hope. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suffered without treatment for fourteen
years. It took three years of treatment and a lot of trial and error to find
what worked for me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finding a
psychiatrist I could feel comfortable with and trust was the biggest step in my
recovery. Though I should use the term maintenance as all people who suffer
from bipolar disorder will in fact relapse. (This is not failure. Pick yourself
back up and keep trying to feel better, to be better.) With proper treatment, often
through medications (commonly a combination of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants,
anti-psychotics and “talk” therapy,) these relapses can be less often and less
intense in nature. There are many treatments out there. The key is working with
your doctor to find what works for you, as not all will. I personally work with
an Integrative Holistic Psychiatrist, (combination of alternative and
conventional care.) </span><span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">For me this was the only thing that
worked. Stay strong.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Remember, you are not alone. I am not alone. Say it
with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-38587676900677102322015-11-07T10:48:00.000-05:002015-11-07T10:49:49.035-05:00Potty training my autistic sonWe all know potty training can be a nightmare. There are memes floating around much like this one that we have all seen our friends and family posting on social media.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFqjfVbzfJi9Pdp3ecg-8batoIFF8oed1wDjJ9wUFPPOfTeoKB8b9DhwY1qeRKPDfNtgKK0Zb2OvtpX-E_bZ6zy4o3NvIxAZFgiYmpr0JCvk2j0FzfPYfxVb14LA2bAYG4czBna9oqFN2I/s1600/Screenshot+2015-11-05+21.05.21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFqjfVbzfJi9Pdp3ecg-8batoIFF8oed1wDjJ9wUFPPOfTeoKB8b9DhwY1qeRKPDfNtgKK0Zb2OvtpX-E_bZ6zy4o3NvIxAZFgiYmpr0JCvk2j0FzfPYfxVb14LA2bAYG4czBna9oqFN2I/s320/Screenshot+2015-11-05+21.05.21.png" width="318" /></a></div>
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We all hear about how much better all lives involved, will be once our little one's are potty trained. Potty training isn't easy. Potty training an autistic child is an extremely difficult job. You can do this! Your child can do this! I decided to share what is working for me and my son in hopes it may help someone else.<br />
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Now, let me state that I am currently still potty training my 5 year old autistic son. This will be our third attempt. I'm happy to say we are making so much more progress this time! For many reasons, he is more ready this time around, so am I and I did countless hours of research to figure out ways to make it easier on not only him but on myself. Parent's of children on the spectrum have all heard hundreds of times how no two kids with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) are alike. Trying an approach that works for someone else's kid may not work for yours. So, keep that in mind. Do your research, decide on what techniques you want to try. Try them and if one doesn't work don't be afraid to tweak your potty training program but most importantly once you commit to a regimen, do not quit. I know for my son he is all about his routine's and isn't a fan of me changing them up. So he argues with me when we do, but eventually he accepts that this is a part of his routine and we begin to make progress.<br />
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When your child begins to show signs they are wet with gestures or by removing wet or soiled diaper, this is a perfect time to begin potty training. My son is non-verbal so we use a pecs board or a board in the center room in the house with images he can hand me to request something. As we potty train, we hand over hand grab the picture and help him hand it to me and then go to the bathroom. (Until he learns to do it on his own.) So he has a clear understanding this is how to ask to use the bathroom. He has asked a few times to use the bathroom but we are in the beginning stages of potty training so I am prompted more than he is asking. This the universal picture that we use, as does his ASD preschool teacher, ABA therapists, etc.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh21g7cEOdxfdZ8rCo8o_BPNQk0MbkCLhUoajIuuQVRUlFwh7mUFyMt1LS_-o7dVlVSTKQumqhQz4PuF99rw8ZgLCbYKuJfyf2aKZqJhV3SZo-a7RdN0p-y3BTC18S8M1XOR_Gsh55fQPAA/s1600/IMG_8790.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh21g7cEOdxfdZ8rCo8o_BPNQk0MbkCLhUoajIuuQVRUlFwh7mUFyMt1LS_-o7dVlVSTKQumqhQz4PuF99rw8ZgLCbYKuJfyf2aKZqJhV3SZo-a7RdN0p-y3BTC18S8M1XOR_Gsh55fQPAA/s320/IMG_8790.jpg" width="314" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I recommend starting on a weekend you don't have any plans or appointments. <o:p></o:p>I put him on the toilet first thing in the morning. I make sure to tell the teacher when I bring him to school, if he went and what time. It is so very important that everyone is being consistent with your child.</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>We use p<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">ull-ups during the day (no pants when at home, so it is easier for him to remove his pulp and so I can tell if he has already gone) and diapers at night. I take him to the toilet every 30-45 mins. Setting an alarm on your phone helps with this. Have him pull down his pants (saying, "Pull down your pants <child's name here>") and he sits on the toilet for about 10 minutes. We have ABA therapists (from <a href="http://www.easterseals.com/michigan/" target="_blank">Easter Seals</a>) come to the house five days a week and they are doing a slightly different potty training regimen. When they are here they put him in underwear (no pants) and they put him on the toilet every 15 minutes for 10 minutes. The also encourage him to drink more so that he has to the need to pee more often. More successful times using the toilet/potty makes the process easier. (I don't do this </span>because it's not practical for us but I'm sure if we could he would be potty trained much faster.) My son gets rewarded for using the toilet, we use grape suckers because they are his favorite and the only thing that seems to feel like an actual reward to him. Also, I allow my son to play on his iPad while sitting on the toilet. It keeps him calm and in good spirits when sitting there for so long. I have tried many potty seats. The cars one is cute. It has the ring that goes on the toilet and it's a potty chair, however in my research I found teaching them to use a potty chair and then trying to teach them to use the toilet is difficult. Because he is 5 years old and 37lbs, sitting on the seat for long periods of time becomes uncomfortable as the cushion seat flattens and leaves a red imprint mark on his skin.</div>
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This one worked really well. No mark and he would sometimes sit for up to 20 minutes with no complaint but he is a boy and the shield just wasn't quite high enough.<br />
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The one that is the winner in our house is the thomas the engine one. The shield in the front is the tallest I've found. You can buy it from amazon, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Easy-Clean-Potty-Train/dp/B00F2MQ5SM/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1446737058&sr=1-1&keywords=thomas+easy+clean+potty+ring" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Okay it's time for my major tip. This tip is primary for potty training boys. There is this company <a href="https://www.tinkletoonz.com/special_needs.html" target="_blank">Tinkle Toonz</a>, who makes the musical potty chair. The idea is you hear the music playing once your little one has used the bathroom. The sensor plays music once wet. The owner began selling the sensors from his toilet training chairs on their own once he found out that using the sensors on their own in underwear or pull-ups (cutting a slit in the pull ups and inserting the sensor. This works but the clean up is a bit messy for me.) was working wonders for parents trying to potty train autistic kids. </div>
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This trick I came up with, with the sensor is helping us with potty training on such a huge level I had to share. This is the sensor, the metal part should be facing out. Put super glue on the back in the center circle part (plastic side). Place it on the potty seat centered where the "shield" is. Hold it for several minutes until the glue drys. Let the glue set over night. </div>
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When your little guy begins to pee (even if an iPad is sitting on his lap and you can't hear or see) the music will begin to play when they do! Don't forget to praise your child! "Good job going pee in the potty!" or "You're peeing in the potty, good job!"</div>
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Here is a video of how the sensor works and what the music sounds like. </div>
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Another tip: When your child soils their diaper/pull up. Walk them to the bathroom and hand over hand dump the "poop" into the toilet out of the pull up/diaper/underwear and say, "This is where poop goes. Not in your diaper. Poop goes into the potty and then we flush it away." </div>
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Accidents will happen. If you opt for the underwear route, if they have an accident leave them in their soiled underwear and tell them "this is not where we go potty." Take them to the bathroom and tell them, "This is where we go potty." Repeat this three times and make them help clean it up. Hand over hand if needed. They will not like this at all and it gives them more incentive to use the toilet. When the ABA therapists are here I have noticed he has minimal messes at those times as he does not like having to clean it up.</div>
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Last thing, no one wants to carry around a giant potty ring when leaving the house. My son is afraid of the normal seat. I think it scares him that he might fall in and he isn't sure how to sit on it. I found this fold up potty seat that has worked great for us so we don't have to remain house bound. He will actually go when we are out because he feels secure on the seat. With certain toilets I do have to to hold onto it, so be aware of that. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Framed-Friends-Folding/dp/B00076SL0I" target="_blank">I have this one.</a></div>
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Remember, don’t get mad. Don’t yell but be stern. If they wont sit there for 5-10 minutes it might not be time yet. Give it a month and try again or even 6 months. No one knows your child better than you do. The first time we tried to potty train was a year ago. He was showing the signs of being ready, wanting his dirty or wet diaper off. But he had no patience or ability to sit on the toilet for any length of time. It was a huge fight and he was often hysterical. So just breathe. Don’t get discouraged. I hope that any or all of this helps you moms and dads out there with potty training! Good luck and Godspeed. ;)</div>
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Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-81829819086867602532015-07-03T02:13:00.000-04:002016-03-11T17:25:04.485-05:00You are not alone. I am not alone.The truth. Something we all seek yet sometimes it's more than we can bare. Here's my truth, or I should say, truths. I am 31 years old. I'm a single mother of an amazing little boy. I have a strong support system so that I can go out into the world and do the things I love to do. Wether it be; writing novels, acting, cooking or whatever else my fingers outstretch to grab onto. When I was a teenager my dentist told me he suspected I had TMJ. Around the same time my doctor told me my gallbladder was bad, but if I ate healthy and stayed away from fatty foods I would be able to manage it well without surgery. My "female zone" doctor aka the gyno, told me she believed I had endometriosis. All the while I found myself in a dark place in my mind wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I went on for many years before my most difficult diagnosis was reached. Bipolar type 1. Here I am staring at those words on my screen and for the first time in God knows how long, it doesn't make me angry. Over the years many more diagnoses appeared. Bipolar disorder type 1-rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, psoriasis, eczema, ADHD, severe acid reflux, abnormal mens. cycle, PCOS, IBS and hypothyroidism. (I honestly could have missed something here.) I was also told I could never have children. You can imagine my surprise when an ER doctor told me I was pregnant. Every single thing a doctor has told me I have, comes with its own list of symptoms. Every medication I take to rectify these things comes with their own side effects. Such as my mood stabilizer (lithium) caused my hypothyroidism and it is a permanent condition. I once had a doctor tell me if she didn't see my age on the chart she would have assumed I was 40-50 years old. I was in my mid 20's at the time. That was not a good sign. After searching high and low and trying things that didn't work, with help I've found supplements that help with a huge amount of my issues and I am grateful I found them.<br />
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Why am I talking about all of the things "wrong" with me? Truth. My truth. The truth that no matter how many disorders they slap on my chart, they do not define me. They do not own me. I can only take care of myself the best I can and hope for a little compassion on days it's hard to get out of bed. Having these issues has in part shaped me into who I am. I know from my mental disorders aka invisible illnesses, that you never know what someone else is going through. It's possible that day at the grocery store where a stranger was rude in passing, it was just their "hard day" and who am I to judge? As if I haven't experienced such a day. Sadly, for a very long time those were all of my days for weeks at a time. On the other side of that I do get very frustrated with the human race. Why is it I have all these things pulling me down and I can still offer a smile in passing, or a hello? Just be kind. You don't have to agree with another's POV and sometimes they are wrong but you can still treat them with respect.<br />
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Depression with or without the bipolar component is no joke. Seriously. It sucks. It drags you down by your ankle's and holds you under water. You may feel like you're drowning but it just won't seem to end and you want it to desperately. I will tell you from experience, "Why can't you just be happy" is the biggest asshole move you can make when talking to someone who suffers from it. We do suffer. That's why all the books I write are very dark. To me, it has its own identity living inside of me. I call it the darkness. Similar to Dexter's dark passenger I suppose, except I'm not a murderer! I don't know if labeling it is healthy or not I just know it works for me. I know as quickly as it arrived and as short or long as it stays it will eventually go away. Truth. people who suffer from bipolar disorder <i>will</i> relapse. Period. With proper treatment (medication and therapy usually) it can become less often and not as severe. I'm proud to say that after 4 years of treatment that is true. I also know a lot of my creative talents are strongly linked to me being bipolar, so I suppose I wouldn't want it gone completely. Getting used to it being less frequent was actually difficult. I know what you're thinking, why on earth would she want to be depressed? That is not what I'm saying. Since I don't have any other option, I'm glad I can use it for good. To help like-minded people. To use it and what I've gone through having it, in my work and be able to share how strongly I feel emotion. Rage, sadness, love. Everything is intensified during a swing in the cycle. Those who suffer from bipolar disorder know the one plus side to it is mania (at least for us.) It's dangerous and can cause major issues but it's almost like a high and once you've tasted it it's hard to let it go. I could go on for days about being bipolar but I won't. If you want an insider view, I did write a book of quotes that I published in May 2015 called, Ramblings From an Unusual Mind. All of the interior images were taken by me and all of the quotes are original by me from my personal journal I write in when I'm suffering from depression. It's raw and honest and I decided to share it for two reasons. One, so that other's like me may find comfort that they are not alone. Two, so that those who know someone who suffers from depression can see from an inside perspective what that truly feels like. There no longer is a reason for me to feel ashamed about how I feel. Especially when it is caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain.<br />
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When my son was only 1 month old he had to have emergency surgery for pyloric stenosis. I was a new mom, single and at the time not in therapy or medicated. It was brutal. He had surgery on Thanksgiving Day. To any parent having to watch your child go through something like that and feeling helpless is absolute torture. When my son was diagnosed with autism between 1 or 2 years old, my world came down hard. I was not taking very good care of myself, being I was 100% focused on my son and my well being was the last thing on my mind. I don't regret that now but I am glad I've found balance to take care of both of us. I wouldn't say I was shocked when they told me but I was definitely in denial for a little while. I now find it to be a blessing. He is the happiest kid I have ever seen and as we learn new ways to communicate the more excited and happy we both become. Truth. My bipolar swings were ruthless during that first year after his diagnosis. I finally broke down to the point that I said<i> I needed help</i>. How was I strong enough to do that for myself after living with it all of these years? There's only one answer, my son. I wanted to be a stable force in his life. Not the bat shit crazy mom everyone wondered why she was aloud to have a kid in the first place. Any parents to a child knows it's not all rainbows and butterfly's when raising a kid. Parent's of autistic children know that a meltdown from their child is like a major war being waged as opposed to a battle. There are days my darkness comes back and I fight it as long as I can while it tries to consume me. Reminding myself that I can get through this for myself and for my son. My loved ones stay strong for me which is a huge reason I am doing so well. Having a strong support system of family or friends or a combination of the both is vital in my opinion. Then there are those moments where I think I can't pull myself out and then my son laughs this belly laugh and then I'm laughing and sometimes that's all it takes to pull me up out of that damn water. I had no idea when I was pregnant that my son would be the one to save me.<br />
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I guess my point to this entire thing is this, just because it feels like a curse it doesn't mean there isn't some sort of silver lining or gift from it. Anyone could look at me at the corner coffee shop I like to write at and never know I have suffered, I do suffer, from a long list of things. Just because you can't see it or feel it does not mean it isn't there hiding under the skin. Treat each other kindly. Treat each other in a way that makes you proud of yourself. Actually, treat other kindly because your own child is watching you. You show them what is right and wrong and what you can get away with when no one is looking. Let's raise our kids the right way. Take care of yourself, you deserve it. Also, you'd be amazed at how much a friendly hello, a smile, or a honest compliment to a stranger can change their attitude for the entire rest of the day. Hell, it does for me.<br />
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Remember, Simba... just kidding. Remember, you are not alone. I am not alone. Say it with me.<br />
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-AndreaAndrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-37201329296382457332015-04-20T20:01:00.000-04:002015-04-20T20:01:00.088-04:00Ramblings from an Unusual MindRamblings from an Unusual Mind,<br />
Is my new book, it releases for kindle on May 7th, 2015. It is now available for pre-order. Can't wait that long? The paperback is currently available via <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ramblings-Unusual-Mind-Collection-Words-ebook/dp/B00VYWHSQM/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1429478794" target="_blank">amazon.com</a> and if you can swing, I recommend the paperback as the images in color are much more pleasing to the eye. The price is higher than I would have preferred for print but the cost of printing the images in color ended up a lot higher than original quoted. The images and all of the quotes and poetry in the interior of the book are all original works by me. The cover was done by Russ Turner Photography. He is amazing and has done all of my covers from the Alice Clark Series, including this one and I am beyond grateful!<br />
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What you can expect:<br />
All of the quotes and poetry are from my personal journal I only write in during a depressive episode caused by my bipolar disorder. They are dark and above all honest to what it feels like for me during these trying times of my life. The images I took myself and paired them with what I felt was the appropriate piece. I chose to do this project for many reasons. Having any of my work out their to be loved or criticized, is scary but I wanted those out there who feel as I do to know they are not alone. For those who don't feel as I do, I hope they may find some insight as to what it is people like me go through. Everything can be going great in my life and these episodes will still happen. So, to those who are like me, always keep fighting. As <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: 'helvetica neue', helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.600000381469727px; text-indent: 2px; white-space: nowrap;">Jared Padalecki (Sam Winchester) </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: 'helvetica neue', helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.600000381469727px; text-indent: 2px; white-space: nowrap;">says. And FYI, he is running a great campaign for awareness and suppor</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: 'helvetica neue', helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.600000381469727px; text-indent: 2px; white-space: nowrap;">t</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: 'helvetica neue', helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.600000381469727px; text-indent: 2px; white-space: nowrap;"> for</span><span style="background-color: white; text-indent: 2px;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, lucida grande, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.600000381469727px; white-space: nowrap;"> those who suffer from depression, etc. </span></span></span>https://represent.com/jaredjensen is the current campaign.<br />
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So a big thank you for taking the time to check out my blog and any of my work. Live. Love. Read.<br />
XOAndrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-30883750409043846622015-02-02T20:19:00.001-05:002015-02-02T20:19:23.287-05:00POST RecapI haven't been able to write. No time, no will to. I've felt quite well the past few months. Spent some time on my own which is not exactly possible in my situation. Maybe it's the years of therapy or a perfect pharmaceutical cocktail, but i've been feeling good. Really good. It's bizarre and terrifying as one knows relapse is not an 'if' but a 'when'. The trouble here is i'm incredibly frustrated with myself for not being able to write at all or at least in the few moments I have available to me to write. And I don't want to. I hate that, and this feeling of loss over one of my most treasured feelings. The physical and emotional need to write, anything and everything. It just seems gone. That breaks my heart. Sure I'm better, for everyone else, to everyone else. Everyone prefers this 'version' of me. I know this version is the responsible choice, and I will stick to that choice knowing it is best for all parties. But, I miss feeling so intensely i'd cry. I miss reading something I wrote always as if I was reading it for the first time, as if it was my soul writing it and not my head and I could feel what those words were saying and sometimes others would read it and feel it too. I miss that. I don't even know if it's ever coming back. So I mourn the loss of my will. I morn the fractured heart beats. Though I am angry and upset at this my brain won't let me feel that either. I'm just this shell of what I once was shifting different versions of myself around. Normally this would devastate me but today, I'm good...Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-71358780263277802872014-08-31T21:38:00.000-04:002014-09-07T15:36:25.240-04:00Endure. Survive. Endure.I looked at the ground, my heart broke. It took a deep breath in and tried to retain all the pieces it seemed to be in now. It didn't. It couldn't but be damned it still tried. Sometimes in life you are sitting still as the world rushes by you. Others, you don't have enough time for all the things you need and want to do. Sometimes you are in motion at a steady speed until something hits you like a boulder knocking your ass back to the start line. Similarly, I had been struck with a still force across my entire being. I mourn the loss of something dear to me and feel as though I always have and will again. So many times I have roared back to life and tried again and again to reach a goal I fear I will never achieve. In this, my illness wreck's havoc on me as it is the only constant in my life. It is cruel and meticulous. The noise in my skull is chaotic most of the time, especially this moon phase. You fear the darkness but its deep within me and all around me and feels like, home. Many don't get it and I didn't expect you too. Yet, I was hopeful. Something that has never, not one time, ever paid off. Time and time again, the girl who thought Westley and Buttercup's story was what true love really was or could be, reminds who I am today of the possibility, it could. So incredibly cruel. Another cycle burns through the night and I play a game within myself of Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. No matter who wins, this sliver of my heart in my hand cuts me, deeply. A reminder of what happened here as to never forget, as if I could. Another toke, another drink, another pill. Numb. Wanting numbness to take hold, to give ample time to heal before I feel. My will laid at the waste side, unable to help me now. Endure. Survive. Endure. Repeat. As I reach up and feel my wet cheeks I know what I feared all along was true. My soul is in love with the idea of true love and I am far too jaded to play along anymore. As I am now as alone as some days I feel, I have the ability to do as one does when this sort of thing happens. For now I will recoil to the darkness that stalks me as it is always the same, always safe no matter how bad it is for me. Never lost I glide through the darkness until I catch the corner of a dresser. I open the top drawer and slide the shard into it, gently. I close the door and let the darkness absorb me until I am no longer present in this moment. Silence. Endure. Survive. Repeat.Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-89697253861089187222014-03-22T14:10:00.001-04:002014-03-22T14:10:19.537-04:00Love and Autism I love my son more than I thought was ever possible. From the moment I found out that I was pregnant my life changed forever. When I first saw his steel baby blues looking up at me I was swimming in his love. We had a terrible scare when he was only a month old resulting in him needing surgery on thanksgiving day of 2010. I was a wreck, there was nothing I could do to ease what he was going through and he was too young to explain that everything would be okay, and it was. I remember the first time I played peek-a-boo with him not knowing at his age he would think I disappeared forever but in time he learned to love the game. I watched him hit milestones so proudly all while terrified if I was doing all I could for him. One day I noticed, others noticed really, he wasn't looking at us. Down the road I found out he has autism spectrum disorder. It was the second scariest experience of my life. He has made such amazing progress through early child development and autism programs. I love him, just the way he is. The way he laughs with every part of his being and smiles as if the world is the most amazing thing he's ever encountered. Sure he won't even try this sippy cup idea and loves his bottles as if they are the most important thing in the world, next to his IPad. His iPad that has shown us all how incredibly smart he is though he doesn't have the words to tell us. He amazes me every day, and drives me crazy as toddlers do. Most days I am only grateful for the blessing he is in my life. Sometimes I see kids his age, tell their mother's they love them and a piece of me cries for that moment. Its possible I may never hear those words from his lips. My new terrifying thought that wanders my mind. If he never does, he shows me, everyday. I know he loves me. So no, I'm not sad that he is autistic and please don't aww and give me a pitiful look in response. He is amazing and I will continue to do all I can to give him all the tools he needs to exceed other's expectations and reach incredible goals he has yet to set for himself. I will shower him with love and kindness so he knows how to treat others. I will set rules and boundaries for his safety and well being and not because I'm scared of the what if's in life. Just as I was taught, I will teach him to be the best he can be and give him the room he needs to achieve it and the help when he wants it. It's true when they say your children become your world. They are our world and one day they will be the ones running the world we live in. Isn't it only fair we do all we can to make it the best possible life they can live? As he hands me his bottle requesting more with that breathtaking smile, I smile back and kiss his forehead. In that moment I feel his love and that is everything to me.<br />
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Proud momma<br />
<br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-35871757569829842892013-12-30T19:17:00.001-05:002013-12-30T19:20:46.320-05:00 A dream: Conversation with a small group of youthful ears. "You only know you've truly loved someone by the hole it leaves in your heart when they are gone."I was standing in front of a small group of youthful ears answering questions about how and why I chose to write. I said, "I didn't choose to write, it's something I just have to do." The teacher smiled and asked if there were any techniques I could share with her students or words of wisdom and I looked around at the room and said this,<br />
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"I want you all to think about the worst day you have ever had. Some might say, you're worst day…" I pointed at a student, "Was worse than say yours." I pointed at another student. "This though technically on someone's scale may be true, it is not. No one has the right to tell you your worst day or any moment is not worth as much as or worth more than someone else's. When you write a sad scene in story you don't write careless emotionless words on a page and hope it hits. You pour your soul out and pluck your sorrow and bleed on the pages you create. That moment is directly tied to your worse day. What you felt that day twists and turns and erupts in the sad moment you create. Experiences in life impact your work as they often do to your own lives. Let's say the main character is a young man or a young lady and her best friend or his mother has died and the funeral has just begun. You're not going to say, oh mom died, damn. Perhaps he is being strong for his sister and father, trying with all his might to hold them up. Begging himself not to cry as he watches the box that holds his mother's shell lowering into the ground. His palms sweat and he tries to force a smile as people in her life pay their respects, numbing him to the core with each empty hug. He waits behind after everyone has left while he curses at the sun to himself, that the world has no right to look happy and joyous when he felt as if something was ripping out his insides. Long after the dirt and sod had been thrown onto the casket he stood, silently. All day he stood there, late into the nightfall. Staring in such disbelief that this all was real. A middle-aged man with scraggily gray hair approached him. The man said, "You only know you've truly loved someone by the hole it leaves in your heart when they are gone." The young man felt his throat closing up on him, threatening of a possible breakdown. He sighed shakily before leaving on unsteady limbs to his car. He climbed in and as the door slammed shut, he faltered. His eyes rained despite his protest and as he let the loss consume him rage began to boil in his blood. Soon guilt of all the things he never had the chance to say or do attacked him relentlessly. His mind was at war with his heart and soul and he was weak from the battle. If you listened quietly, you could actually hear the sound of his heart breaking into tiny pieces, slipping through his hands. A bang on the glass jogged him back to his numb state he had prior to this, grown accustomed to."<br />
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Each student connected with a different aspect of the short story and had a million questions. I smiled as one asked, "Who was at the window?"<br />
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"Well," I said, "Whoever you want it to be. It could be his father or sister or perhaps a high school sweet heart or new love interest. Someone who may break his heart far worse or may heal it. Each of us would write the next scene completely different and none of them would be wrong. When you tell a story a piece of you, however small, leaks into your book and that is not a bad thing. Your reader wants to feel something and to be taken on a journey. The point here is this, every moment in your life matters. As does every moment in a book. What you have felt, enjoyed, suffered through, its shapes you as a writer and as a human being. Live your life and don't be afraid to allow your past experiences to linger in your work. The story you have to tell matters and your life is an asset to storytelling. And your life experiences are a part of what makes your own writing style unique. Good luck, keep writing."<br />
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AAndrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-17835859582131810162013-12-21T16:33:00.001-05:002013-12-21T16:33:34.019-05:00The Joy of a Sleepy ChildI rock my son in my arms as if we were listening to a sweet melody. His cries bounce of the wall begging for me not to coax him into sleeping. He loathes napping and bedtime as if I were kicking his favorite little puppy. He whines, pleading that I stop trying to make him as sleepy as he actually is. I lay him down in bed with a bottle and his favorite blanket, whispering sweet words to him. He fights, arguing every step of the way as if sleep was his mortal enemy. His eyes grow heavy and in reaction his hand reach up to rub them. Will he sleep? I wonder.<br />
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I hold my son gently in my arms reminding myself that this is just one of the many gifts that come along with children. Exhausted my hair lay a disaster, high above my head. My eyes are surrounded by a dark blanket, a sign that I have been without sleep for far too many days in a row. A nap could change my entire day and the only thing standing in the way of that is the perfect bundle of joy wrapped in my arms screaming bloody murder. My socks are mismatched and I was sure the substance on my shirt was either spit up or formula but not entirely sure to which one it was. Reluctantly, I lay him in his bed as my arms feel as if they will fall right off of my body from the length of time I held his weight in them. I tried to hold him until he fell asleep, but I was in no condition for an endurance run against this little man. I glanced in the mirror to see my disheveled appearance knowing this wasn't the first nor the last time, I wasn't going to give two shits about my reflection, mocking me. I sat waiting for him to tire himself out and fall asleep into the much needed nap he deserves, I deserved. As I am just about to give up and free him as he wishes the space around me silences and I know he has finally passed out. I dance in celebration. I debate on taking my own much needed nap or one of the other million things I could do while he lay sleeping. I peer into his crib to see his sweet angelic face, at peace. I crawl into bed and close my eyes, excitedly. Minutes pass and there I lay awake. "No, no, no." I growl at myself. After I had made a mental note of my future to do list and had dwelled sufficiently on the past twenty-nine years of my life, I begin to drift asleep. "Momma." I hear from cage that holds my son. My eyes snap open fearfully and as his soft voice begins to babble I sigh and pull myself from my bed and approach my son. I find him siting, staring up at me with a smile that could melt the coldest of winter's. Even his baby blues were smiling, as if to say, thank you mom. I needed that. I reach in and lift him up into my arms and he holds on to my neck before I bring him to the floor to escape and cause whatever havoc he will, on the house. His laughter fills the house as he plays with his favorite toys and though the circle's around my eyes darkened slightly from the ordeal I throw my hands up in defeat. There's always bedtime, I think to myself. Who needs showers?<br />
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<br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-16076439041964725982013-11-06T02:00:00.000-05:002013-11-06T02:00:08.730-05:00Cover reveal of Keren Hughes debut novel, Stolen<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>
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I'm super excited to be apart of the cover real of Keren Hughes's book Stolen. She is an amazing woman who I met when I was searching for someone to review my first book Finding Alice. She is a breath of fresh air and I know from speaking to her on many occasions that her book will be outstanding and breathtaking. Yes I do have that much faith as I was able to read a small fraction of the book while she was still writing it! So check out the beautiful cover that I know will make you want to read it as much as I do!</div>
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<span style="color: #9900ff; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span></span><span></span>Keren Hughes</span><div>
<span style="font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #9900ff;">Author of </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18386363-stolen?ac=1" target="_blank"><span style="color: magenta;">Stolen</span></a><span style="color: #9900ff;">, book one in the Freedom of Souls series.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #9900ff; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Owner of 'Gothic Angel Book Reviews' book blog.</span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.authorkerentshughes.wordpreess.com/" target="_blank">Author Keren Hughes Blog</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/stolenbykerenhughes" target="_blank">Facebook - Book Page - 'Stolen'</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/keren.hughes.92" target="_blank">Facebook - Author Profile</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18386363-stolen?ac=1" target="_blank"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br /><br /><br />-- </span><br />
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<span style="color: #9900ff; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span></span><span></span>Keren Hughes</span><div>
<span style="font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #9900ff;">Author of </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18386363-stolen?ac=1" target="_blank"><span style="color: magenta;">Stolen</span></a><span style="color: #9900ff;">, book one in the Freedom of Souls series.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #9900ff; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Owner of 'Gothic Angel Book Reviews' book blog.</span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.authorkerentshughes.wordpreess.com/" target="_blank">Author Keren Hughes Blog</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/stolenbykerenhughes" target="_blank">Facebook - Book Page - 'Stolen'</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/keren.hughes.92" target="_blank">Facebook - Author Profile</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18386363-stolen?ac=1" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Add 'Stolen' on Goodreads</span></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/gothicangelbookreviews" target="_blank">Facebook - Review Page</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: arial narrow, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.gothicangelbookreviews.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Gothic Angel Book Reviews</a></span></div>
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There it is folks! Make sure to check out her links and tell her I sent you! </div>
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XO</div>
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Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-41059384648489198552013-11-05T16:28:00.002-05:002016-03-11T17:21:38.848-05:00Personal journal entryHere is an entry from my private journal. Honestly it's on the lighter side, not sure what that says about my inner struggles.<br />
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October 2013:<br />
<br />
I feel as if I'm floating through a sea of shadows. My mind is as tired as my body. I try to find the lighter side of things but the irritation of doing so is nauseating. I dream sometimes of a little house with an ocean view on a private beach where my mind can finally relax and I can enjoy my time here in this world. I dream of a body I feel comfortable in with no self loathing. Sadly, all of these things aren't real and they leave me longing until I break down from the loss of something I never even had. As I cycle through waves of yet another bipolar episode I reach acceptance if only for a short period of time. Acceptance for who I am, baggage and all. For who I'm not and never will be. Allowing myself to dream even if it will never come to pass. I float between angry, depressed and a calmness I refer as the calm before the next storm. I wonder if I have the right to want more for myself. I try to be thankful for those moments of eerie calmness and quiet contemplation. It's always so difficult to do so as I know if I wait a few hours, a day, days even I'll be back to singing the blues and crying myself to sleep. My wonderland is a wasteland for broken souls. Once again the calmness before the storm settles on my skin like an itch I just can't scratch. I will always continue to fight this nearing episode with what little strength I have. The air is crisp and inviting me to soak up the sun. As if the darkness wasn't calling out to me. It's moments like this I crave to be alone, yet a piece of me reaches out to those I love for comfort, for acceptance. The things I love to do hold less meaning in times like this. A hollowness erupts inside of me, taunting my rage and sadness. There's no real rhyme or reason to feel this way. I know my life is far from horrible. Like a warm blanket the darkness comforts me as it usually does, inviting me to let go and cry about everything and nothing at all. The sad truth for me is, this battle is everlasting. Light may win today but as a new day dawns the fight starts over. I sit in shambles of a former version of myself. Oddly with hope that it will all be over soon and I will yet again bask in the light and enjoy a fragment of this life. How have I become such a jaded and cynical creature? I sigh deeply and prepare for another drop into sadness and utter grief. As if each time a piece of me dies I must mourn the loss. With shock plastered across me I can admit I am far better now with these modern poisons than many moons ago when I laid adrift in my depressing solitude. I accept this fate as much as I fight it. Always hiding this enormous side of myself from everyone. Knowing they couldn't take it, knowing I couldn't take that look upon their face or their response as heartfelt as they meant it to be. It feels as if I am living two lives all of the time. Except once in a while, like a full moon, where both sides of me collide and the true version of what I've become comes into full view. I don't always hate her, the girl looking back at me. Though her voice is like poison in my mind. I would never wish this inner struggle on a single soul, it is far to cruel. Yet the calmness washes over me carrying a wicked grin. Even it sees what comes next. It feels pleasure with a nearing episode and yet it feels sorry for me too. I stare into the dark night's sky wishing this episode would pass me by for once. So hopeful in my suffering. Now that is blind faith. Ridiculous as any other. I am but a shadow dancing through my life. And to be whole is but a dream.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Andrea<br />
XOAndrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-84875491980541072402013-08-01T11:59:00.000-04:002013-09-02T12:07:13.519-04:00The family Buggy's Marty salad and cheese bread, recipe <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhH5TMFRYLasZ6eZidVXVkIkHTpP2qOIrAGPeDwrKSOTQDC4ovshVwUY-h8osvzUPJmmd_bgbsjxkQF3D7kKIkc46UitzVFEuO_aXLk6r9ez2FZbBivagYjymvv4SNwa9N1FdFuMPw7hTI/s1600/421910_2797391208651_1074621391_2715757_1537528389_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhH5TMFRYLasZ6eZidVXVkIkHTpP2qOIrAGPeDwrKSOTQDC4ovshVwUY-h8osvzUPJmmd_bgbsjxkQF3D7kKIkc46UitzVFEuO_aXLk6r9ez2FZbBivagYjymvv4SNwa9N1FdFuMPw7hTI/s320/421910_2797391208651_1074621391_2715757_1537528389_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I grew up on this salad and bread combo as it was my families favorite restaurant. It's still a favorite to this day.<br />
<br />
<br />
The Marty's salad and cheese bread from The Family Buggy (which sadly went out of business recently after a long many years)<br />
<br />
The salad:<br />
<br />
Romaine Lettuce, 1-2 heads<br />
red onion thinly sliced, 1/2 onion<br />
cheddar cheese, shredded (1 cup)<br />
bacon bits, (from fresh bacon) (1/2 cup)<br />
<br />
marty's dressing:<br />
equal parts white sugar and miricle whip, mix in mixer for min 2 minutes (usually use 1 cup each)<br />
<br />
Mix all ingredients and serve immediately.<br />
<br />
The Bread:<br />
Use french bread (cut on angle) or italian<br />
equal parts (1 cup each) shredded (not grated) Parmesan cheese and Mayonnaise<br />
<br />
Put cheese mixture on bread slices about 1/4"thick and broil until cheese is bubbling and orangish brown. Serve hot.<br />
<br />
Enjoy!<br />
<br />
~AndreaAndrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-75078722658878016422013-05-30T07:05:00.000-04:002013-05-30T07:05:00.233-04:00Stolen by Keren Kiesslinger
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Keren is such a doll and I adore her, I cannot wait to read her debut novel Stolen! I am so proud! </div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: #333333; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Roshanna O'Dare had the perfect
life. Everything was as it should be until the day she wakes to finds her
parents murdered in their own home.<br />
Roshanna doesn't have any other family in Cypress Hill so she has to leave her
best friend Marissa behind to move in with her last living relative, Uncle Joe,
who lives in Texas, Austin. It’s where she meets Bodhi, her uncle’s chauffeur
and a kind loving man who understands her and helps her through her parents
deaths. <br />
Before moving away, Roshanna is confronted with a shocking secret that Marissa
has kept from her—a secret that changes how Shanna sees life and the people in
it. A secret about Roshanna’s parent that makes her take a journey to free them
from the fate they’re in.<br />
Will she succeed? And will she find love along the way?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
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<b><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">My gift to you all an excerpt! Enjoy!</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Excerpt
1<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">“Bodhi, what we have is special to me. We
have a sort of connection that for the life of me I cannot explain. I’ve told
you before how your touch feels like a sort of gravity. As for your kisses,
they give me butterflies in my tummy like you wouldn’t believe. When we’re
alone together, I don’t think about anything except for us. I… care about you.”
I faltered those last 3 words. It had come to feel like more than just caring
about him, but I wasn’t willing to admit that yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">“Wow. You really do care about me? I had
hoped you did and what we had wasn’t just a bit of fun while you were figuring
out where your head was at. I feel the same, you know?! When you kiss me, it
sends shivers down my spine and when you touch me, it’s electric. I feel alive.
Not just living but truly alive.” he confessed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I looked at him and saw the smile on his
face as he spoke. We had time to figure out exactly what we had, but for now, I
knew he cared for me as much as I cared for him. That thought made me smile
inside and out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">We got home and as we stepped out of the
car, Bodhi took my hand and led me to the pergoda where we lay on the floor
with the blanket underneath us. We lay encircled in each other’s arms and Bodhi
kept trailing light kisses from my lips, to my jaw, to my arm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">As he came back up to my lips, I kissed him
with such fervour. He drew me closer to him and the kiss deepened into
something I had never felt before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">I couldn’t admit it to Bodhi but if I was
falling in love with him, if this was what love felt like, I was happy to be
feeling something so special for such a great guy. Not only was he hot as all
Hell to look at, he was an amazing person underneath the surface too. If this
really was love, then so be it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<!--StartFragment-->
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Author
Bio<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Keren lives in the UK and is an avid
bookworm; she has been since she read things like Black Beauty, What Katy Did
and The Hobbit as a child. Her first real memories of reading are the summers
she used to lie on her bed and re-read What Katy Did and What Katy Did Next. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Over the years she has come to realise that
she is a bit OCD about books. They have to be in perfect condition without the
slightest bit of damage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">She is a book reviewer and has been for the
past 18 months or so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">The idea for Stolen came to her one day but
she never thought she’d actually write it let alone publish it. If it wasn’t
for her author friend Kira Saito, the idea would still be stuck in her head not
on paper. But constant love and support from Kira is why you are now able to read
Stolen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Stolen is her first novel but now that
she’s written one, she knows she needs to write more. There will be one sequel,
called Freed which will be from Bodhi’s POV. This will be set a couple of years
on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Then, the plan is for her to write either
NA or Adult Contemporary Romances. She has a big crush on Lady Antebellum’s
music at the moment and their songs have inspired a few book ideas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Keren loves hearing from her readers and if
you want to contact her, you can do so at any of the following places:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Twitter:</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> @Gothic_Angel28<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Facebook
(review page):</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/GothicAngelBookReviews">www.facebook.com/GothicAngelBookReviews</a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Facebook
(author page):</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/stolenbykerenkiesslinger">www.facebook.com/stolenbykerenkiesslinger</a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Review
Blog:</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> <a href="http://www.gothicangelbookreviews.blogspot.com/">www.gothicangelbookreviews.blogspot.com</a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-GB">Author
Blog:</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> <a href="http://www.authorkerenkiesslinger.blogspot.com/">www.authorkerenkiesslinger.blogspot.com</a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-58369782509591659172013-05-26T10:56:00.003-04:002013-05-26T10:56:24.020-04:00Summer book blast!<div>
<br />
The <a href="http://indiebookfestival.com/ibf/summer_booksale.php" target="_blank" title="Summer Book Blast">Summer Book Blast</a> runs from May 24-27 and is THE hottest and largest ebook sale to date for today’s best selling young adult, new adult and romantic fiction.We're giving away over $1,000 in prizes!<a href="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ad.jpg"><img alt="ad" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-5921" height="300" src="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ad-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
<br /></div>
In addition to all books being priced at .99 for the four-day sale, there will be:<br />
<ul>
<li>a Kindle Fire raffled off DAILY;</li>
<li>ebook bundles raffled off DAILY; and</li>
<li>paperbacks and swag raffled off DAILY.</li>
</ul>
To participate in giveaways, visit the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/events/599508860066751/">Summer Book Blast Facebook</a> event page!<br />
<br />
To see the incredible books on sale, check out the <a href="http://indiebookfestival.com/ibf/summer_booksale.php" target="_blank">Summer Book Blast web</a> page!<br />
<br />
The Blast features books from over sixty authors, all of whom came together to lower their prices and offer their readers incredible deals to stock up for the hot, lazy summer months.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
A special thank you goes out to our sponsors:</div>
<a href="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/evatopialogo2.jpg"><img alt="evatopialogo2" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-5922" height="78" src="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/evatopialogo2-300x78.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Zoey-Rogue_fb1.jpg"><img alt="Zoey Rogue_fb" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-5894" height="111" src="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Zoey-Rogue_fb1-300x111.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/734445_507118349349148_1811984995_n.jpg"><img alt="734445_507118349349148_1811984995_n" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-5918" height="110" src="http://www.guerrillawordfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/734445_507118349349148_1811984995_n.jpg" width="298" /></a><br />
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The event has been arranged and coordinated by the following wonderful people on the Summer Book Blast committee: Lisa Markson, Leanne Jacobson, Stephanie Shaw and Jennifer Pringle.<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Links to our Sponsors</h2>
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Evatopia</div>
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Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-78381338713748227792013-04-08T15:41:00.002-04:002013-04-08T15:43:53.036-04:00Teaser from new novel tentatively called, Jezebel. Paranormal Romance<br />
A small teaser from my new book temporally titled Jezebel.<br />
<br />
<br />
Miss Jezebel walked up to the vanity and began pulling pins from her hair letting her dark long locks cascade like an evil river down her back.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“You have a beautiful place.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Jezebel laughed loudly in response, she was enjoying Henry’s company more than she should. “Why thank you Henry, please make yourself comfortable,” she said pointing to the over sized oval bed she had custom made when she first arrived in town. She finished with her hair and began to unzip her dress when she smelt the tension rise in the room. “Is there a problem Henry?” She said dropping the bustle skirt to her feet.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I think you may have the wrong idea.” He back peddled.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>She walked towards him. “Do I?” She asked letting her legs bump into his.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I said I wasn’t looking for any…”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Jezebel interrupted him with her finger to his lips. She slowly crawled onto the bed above him knocking him to his back. “You chose to come to my room, where I do not allow most. If you didn’t come here for that than it is as I feared and you have come to meet your maker.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“You are very beautiful and I would love nothing more than to enjoy your company but I can’t do something with you when you are the only one that…”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Knows what happened to your brother?” She whispered.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Henry launched her off of him sitting himself back up he stared at her on the floor where she landed on all fours. She stood up and stared into Henry’s eyes once more. “I do not wish to kill you.”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I’d rather you didn’t myself.” He said.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-72274916168855610762013-03-29T04:32:00.000-04:002013-03-29T04:32:00.122-04:00Release Alice's Sacrifice, #2 Alice Clark Series<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Born and raised in Michigan, Andrea has always
been a writer at heart. Over the last decade she has written, starred and
directed in many screenplays. A few years ago she decided to venture back into
writing novels. "I haven't looked back since," giving her work her
full attention. "I am very excited to share the worlds I create, with all
of you dreamers."<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Book
Title – Alice’s Sacrifice<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Genre –
Urban Fantasy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Formats
– Ebook and Print<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Publisher
– CreateSpace<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Release
Date – March 29<sup>th</sup>, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Website-
<a href="http://www.andreadigiglio.com/">www.andreadigiglio.com</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Blog - </span> <a href="http://andrea-digiglio.blogspot.com/">http://andrea-digiglio.blogspot.com</a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fandrea-digiglio.blogspot.com%2F&h=RAQGsVYi7">/</a>
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.facebook.com/andreadigiglio">Facebook</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.twitter.com/andreadigiglio">Twitter</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Amazon
link book 2 Alice’s Sacrifice: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Alices-Sacrifice-Alice-Series-ebook/dp/B00C137VQA/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1364301258&sr=8-10&keywords=alice%27s+sacrifice">http://www.amazon.com/Alices-Sacrifice-Alice-Series-ebook/dp/B00C137VQA/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1364301258&sr=8-10&keywords=alice%27s+sacrifice</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Amazon
link book 1 Finding Alice: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Alice-Clark-Series-ebook/dp/B007AVW7L2/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1357930889&sr=1-2">http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Alice-Clark-Series-ebook/dp/B007AVW7L2/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1357930889&sr=1-2</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Book
Trailer for book 2, Alice’s Sacrifice <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uQuVGXyEXJs">http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uQuVGXyEXJs</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Trailer
Link – for book 1, finding alice <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1x_DvGx4CA&feature=youtu.be)">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1x_DvGx4CA&feature=youtu.be)</a>
<o:p></o:p></div>
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they were never meant to live. Fallen Angel fathers choose to stay, protect and
get to know their nephilim children. Now that everyone knows where to find
Alice, the real question is who is that information pertinent to? One single
traumatic event sets Alice's true destiny into motion. How each of those she
cares for reacts to this event; has enormous consequences for her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">What will Alice have to sacrifice and for whom?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b><u>Excerpts:<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b>EXCERPT # 1 ALICE’S SACRIFICE<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
The breeze caressed Alice’s face
from the open window as they flew through the winding roads that led them back
to their home. She felt Cole’s hand clutch hers, loosening only to brush his
fingers gently along her arm. They had won this unfathomable fight against
God’s Angels for now, but for how long, only time would tell. She felt him lift
her hand to his mouth, giving it a tender kiss before returning it to her lap. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“How is your back?” Cole asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“Sore. I knew it would be
painful, but this is more than I could ever have imagined.” She flinched
slightly from the memory of her new-found wings collapsing into her back. “I’m
sure it’s worse than child birth.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
He chuckled, “Well, that is
something I will never be able to know.” His laugh faded as they made eye
contact. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
Alice twisted uncomfortably,
having never really considered having children herself. She sat torturing
herself, conflicted between comparing whether she even wanted to have kids and
how much worse she’d feel if he did. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“I think that is something we
can talk about down the road. We’ve had quite a night,” he said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
He was right. The last few
months had changed her life in every way possible. She now knew what real love
was every time she looked into his beautiful amber eyes as they reached deep
into her soul. She had finally known the truth of why such bizarre things had
happened to her in her life when she met her biological Fallen Angel father,
Penemue, or Paul, as she liked to call him. It was then she was brought face to
face with her destiny. The topic of children was not something she was even
remotely up for talking about, though a part of her couldn’t help imagining
what their children would be like. She leaned over to rest her head on Cole’s
shoulder. As she did, he lifted his arm, holding her tightly to his chest. <i>We really did make it,</i> she thought. He
kissed the top of her head, <i>Yes we did,</i>
he said. She would never tire of hearing his voice in her head or knowing he
could hear her voice in his.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After arriving home she looked
back at the flood of cars that trailed behind them, letting a smile crawl up
her face. Everyone was camped outside around a victorious campfire except Cole
and Alice, who had excused themselves and ventured back to their home to shower
and relax. The overwhelming emotions that had run through her were gone and all
that was left was adrenaline and passion. Cole barely shut the door behind them
when she jumped into his arms and pressed her lips to his, slamming his back
into the door. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, returning her kiss with
the same raw passion. She needed this, and she knew he did too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0.25in;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b>EXCERPT #2 FINDING ALICE<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“This should be easier,” Alice
said glaring.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“It will be, at least between
the two of you. Try again.” Sariel directed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
<i>Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.</i> Alice aimed her thoughts at Cole alone.
Cole, of course, laughed so loud it echoed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“Coffee, really, Alice?” Sariel
asked. “Maybe you should try something more - intimate. It might give you the
motivation to keep it between the two of you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“You might regret that Sariel,”
Cole said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
<i>I hate this. Okay, I want you to…</i> Sariel flinched in preparation
for something he did not want to hear. She paused, took a deep breath, and the
world ceased for a moment as she focused in on Cole’s heartbeat. She exhaled
and tried again. <i>I want you to kiss me
and carry me to our room and make love to me.</i> She watched the look on
Cole’s face change from amusement to hunger. Sariel cringed slightly. “Damn it,
it didn’t work.” She rubbed her temples in frustration.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“Alice, it did in fact work. I
did not hear what you said, and I can assume by the lust in Cole’s eyes that
you took my advice.” He laughed at Cole’s awkwardness. “Cole, dare I test you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
<i>I’m going to kiss every inch of your body until you can no longer
stand.</i> She felt her breath catch in her throat. She watched him grin
triumphantly when he saw from the corner of his eyes that Sariel had not heard
him. He stared deeply into her eyes. She almost blushed from the intensity of
the entire thing; he had never spoken to her like that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
“Alright you two, keep
practicing. I think we are done for now,” Sariel said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
Without another word, Cole
lifted her into his arms and carried her towards the house. She laughed and
fought to get down, <i>Cole!</i> He joined
her laughter and set her down. Arm in arm they entered the house and ran up the
stairs into their bedroom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 21.75pt;">
Barely through the door, Cole
pounced on her, and they nearly missed landing on the bed. A normal girl might
be frightened by his aggressiveness, but she was far from normal, and she was
enjoying every second of it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and rolled
them until his back hit the floor with a thud and she was straddling him. She
was enjoying her strength, and so was he. She pulled away from him to remove
her shirt. He reached up and pulled her ferociously back into him. Hunger for
him was taking over all of her senses and she let it, willingly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-81442799828424182342013-03-15T07:35:00.000-04:002013-03-15T07:35:00.311-04:00Cover reveal for Firewall by C. G. PowellCover reveal for Firewall by C. G. Powell<br />
<br />
That's right folks I am privileged enough to bring you the beautiful cover of Firewall by C.G. Powell. Isn't it stunning!?<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz8ZT2p4HSkhrWkVS6pt4G6Kyw8tDLGVwnq4yU5cvP7wbZ6muH8WWPkHg8Wh5ZHMGxGuUNLkHJTilYxemCw6FhMtCyoD_somBbBiUVjyppNcqRFb47SVfAXTFvza7ufXDVnutQmGmom9OE/s1600/firewall+cover+2+text.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz8ZT2p4HSkhrWkVS6pt4G6Kyw8tDLGVwnq4yU5cvP7wbZ6muH8WWPkHg8Wh5ZHMGxGuUNLkHJTilYxemCw6FhMtCyoD_somBbBiUVjyppNcqRFb47SVfAXTFvza7ufXDVnutQmGmom9OE/s640/firewall+cover+2+text.jpg" width="419" /></a></div>
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Here's a wonderful excerpt for you to enjoy:</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Firewall (book 2 No Uncertain Logic
Series) by C.G. Powell<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I hate to cut things short, but the sooner we get down to
business the better. I’ve made
arrangements for a transport to take us to the Atlantis which is sitting in the
Meranna Sea.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before Sarik could finish, Jael interrupted, “When did you
move the ship?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Shortly after you left for Ibis Prime. Orion felt he needed to keep an eye on me
once Aphrodite arrived, so he sent a team to assist the move closer to the
capital city.” He looked to Neria and
Aphrodite. “Ladies, if you will follow
me. I will take you to the transport.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They walked to a smaller docking area where a transporter
ship was awaiting them. Neria’s bags
were already on board, as was Captain Ross.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sarik raised one brow.
“How did you get here so quick?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Captain Ross cleared his throat and rolled his eyes towards
the cockpit where Tal sat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I thought you didn’t trust mist traveling?” Sarik laughed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It took a while to get used to, but it has its benefits if
you can get past the nausea and the whole cellular disintegration reassembly
thing.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sarik nudged the captain with his elbow. “Are you sure it has nothing to do with
quantum entanglement with a certain Jinn?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speechless, Captain Ross’ reddened face spoke volumes. He excused himself and joined Tal in the
cockpit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looping her arm in Sarik’s, Jael frowned and continued
towards the passenger area of the transport.
“Why do you tease the poor Captain?
I think it quaint that he has taken a liking to Tal even if she doesn’t
return his affections.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What kind of friend would I be, if I didn’t acknowledge his
obvious fondness?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you really want me entertain your question with an
answer?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, not really.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the intercom the captain’s voice boomed, “Good morning,
this is your captain. Today’s flight
should be a clear shot to the Meranna Sea area.
We have favorable atmospheric conditions and low level winds upon approach. Our estimated arrival is 14:80 standard
atomic time, that’s half-past lunch for those of you who still struggle with
the local atomic conversion.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jael, Salima, and Aphrodite all turned and looked at Sarik.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pursed lipped, Sarik stood and yelled toward the
cockpit. “Okay, you win. Now get us the hell out of here.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Coming
Summer 2013<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/ChristineGPowell"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> | </span><a href="https://twitter.com/CGPowel"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Twitter</span></a><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> | </span><a href="http://www.christinegpowell.com/"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Blog</span></a><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> | </span><a href="http://www.cg-powell.com/"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Web Page</span></a><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-6228669244001893742013-02-19T10:26:00.000-05:002013-02-19T11:07:41.251-05:00Journal of a manic bipolarDay three of my bipolar and mania episode. Sigh. It's far harder than I anticipated to control my rage and depression these days. Sometimes I feel myself succumbing to the darkness, swallowing me whole. Constantly I'm told how proud and amazed people are that I'm doing so well with the hand I've been dealt. Gee thanks. I'm fighting clawing at the walls closing in to break free of this depressing cloud hanging over my head. Fucking rain already. These "episodes" are impossible. Imagine feeling numb no connection to those you care for in your life. Sure you know you love them, you remember feeling it you just can't feel it most of the time. It's fucked up is what it is. But that's not where it ends, everything gets on your nerves and you're afraid you might deck the snobby bitch in line at the grocery store if she rolls her eyes at you one more time and you are honestly physically restraining yourself. Next add waves of soothing depression. Dark seas of hate, sadness, lust, emptiness and loneliness. Jumping back and fourth at a rapid pace between caring too much and not at all. The consequences of your wake wait patiently for when life turns around. Even if it feels impossible deep down you know it will turn around if only for a little while. Until then you wallow and hope no one strums your triggers, causing a far worse reaction then wallowing in your misery. You're already kicking yourself for every mistake you've ever made, that you can't remember. Of course your memory has some sort of sad break and moments you'd miss you can't remember. And what the fuck are you doing with your life? Can you see it? I can but I'm living it. So stop asking me if I'm okay, clearly I'm not fucking okay. I'm hanging on by a thread, trying not to lose it, lose everything and everyone. Remember to pretend to be okay. Is my condition the result of life or was I predestined before I was born?<br />
<br />
I can't even face my past, it's locked away in some dark corner of my mind. I can hear its laughter though, echoing throughout my ears. Rattling my anxious mind. <i>Knock Knock</i> "Are you all right?" A voice asked through the fog. No, I'm not all right I'm losing my fucking mind. I never say that though. Lost and broken I tread through the filthy waters at my feet. Where does this drive to survive come from? I feel numb and hopeless. Depressed and angry but yet something pushes me onward. My world constantly feels like it's tumbling down around me and yet I choose life every time. Remarkable. Truth is the pain though unbearable at times is easier to endure than the mental battle i'm having with darkness closing in. Priming its teeth to sink deep into me to feed my sadness and steal my joy. Breathe. I demand attempting to slow my ever beating heart. Everything in me screams life! Love! But why can I only feel anger and loneliness? Wrath builds in my veins, emptiness fill my tear ducts and I begin to melt like snow on a warm spring day. I reach out and feel no one nearby, even if they are there they are only but a ghost haunting the good in me. I cry against my will. The darkness dances triumphantly while I squirm inside my own darkness as it consumes me. Let me go, my mind shouts inside my skull. Barely alive I fight, I win. I'm left in my lonely broken state staring out at those I care for with nothing more than a nod. Unable to express the hell I've just endured while missing... What the hell did they just ask me? Labeled, an asshole. Not the survivor I barely am. No one feels my struggles. I wander with no where to release my wrath. Only able to grip a hold of it and hide it from the world. No where to release this depression for the effect it has on others. Bottled up. Ready to explode always. Alone.<br />
<br />
<br />Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2887456959365515655.post-69867272950669742622013-01-25T09:35:00.000-05:002013-01-25T09:35:58.204-05:00Cover release for Endless by Tawdra Kandle!<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.promotionalbooktours.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Cover-Reveal-banner.jpg"><img alt="" height="512" src="http://www.promotionalbooktours.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Cover-Reveal-banner.jpg" title="Cover Reveal banner" width="768" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br />
<strong>ENDLESS, The King Series Book 4, </strong>will be released at the end of this month! Just to get you ready, here's the official cover release!<br />
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<br />
This beautiful design is courtesy of the incredibly talented Christine Powell Gomez.<br />
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<br />
Enjoy. . .and get ready for the final chapter in Tasmyn and Michael's story!<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<em><strong>After the tumult of her high school senior year, all is right in Tasmyn Vaughan's world. She's attending college with her boyfriend, and she's learning to control her powers. Everything is finally perfect, until it isn’t.</strong></em></div>
<div>
<em><strong>When her new part-time job leads to more than she bargained for, she is thrown into a deadly fight against forces of evil that she didn't even know existed. Mastering her extraordinary gifts—along with the strength of an endless love—may be the only weapon that can guarantee her a happily ever after.</strong></em></div>
</div>
</div>
Don't miss the first three books of The King Series:<br />
<br />
<br />
Read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/FEARLESS-King-Series-ebook/dp/B006KHWEKQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1359071902&sr=1-1&keywords=fearless+the+king+series" target="_blank">FEARLESS</a> (only 99 cents right now!)<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/BREATHLESS-THE-KING-SERIES-ebook/dp/B007QNAG9E/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1" target="_blank">BREATHLESS</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Restless-THE-KING-SERIES-ebook/dp/B008EFJ90U/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1" target="_blank">RESTLESS</a><br />
<br />
<br />
Follow Tawdra on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tawdra-Thompson-Kandle/289985431023178" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://bit.ly/wQqQx7" target="_blank">Twitter</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.promotionalbooktours.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/tawdra-4-build-w-text-300dpi1.jpg"><img alt="" height="929" src="http://www.promotionalbooktours.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/tawdra-4-build-w-text-300dpi1-672x1024.jpg" title="tawdra 4 build w text 300dpi" width="610" /></a><br />
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Check out all the blogs featuring the cover reveal today!<br />
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Andrea DiGigliohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09452163740336294616noreply@blogger.com0